Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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