you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
