come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
