I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
