I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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