i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The power of my boobs compel you
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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