Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
