I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
