My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You left your phone here
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