I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
