Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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