I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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