So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
