You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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