There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
