I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
