Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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