Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
