maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
