maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
