The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
