All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Shame - the story of my life.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
