Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
