i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
