R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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