They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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