he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
