put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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