Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
