Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
