so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize