So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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