Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
