how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Couch. On fire.
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