idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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