i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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