id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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