there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
