The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You are the jesus of drinking
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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