On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize