He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
