dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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