We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
