Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
