why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
