i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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