Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
