We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Sorry about my life...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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