he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
