you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
