What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize