my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
