Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
