So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
