Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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