you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
