What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize