respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
