Dual....:-)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize